Mayed

MAY had been a lot of evaluation and thinking done. I love life not for its hipe but for its up-and-downs. Just like a roller coaster ride, filled with mixed emotions which made it confusing sometimes, but memorable. Without the 'downs', I will not know how high I had actually been. It can be frustratingly amazing.

3 days, and the design I was talking about had been submitted. I think it was okay but until the client get back to us.. I shall keep my fingers crossed for now and hope for the best. Shall put it on blog later on. :]

There is this new anticipation I have for this year's church camp which will be from 4th till 7th June, next week actually. I am excited to be bunking with Amy, a sister whom I served with in the English service but have yet to know very well. There is something I respect and admire about her - her using her talent to serve God, with much faithfulness and joy. And also two other Chinese ladies I enjoyed, YP and YD, from my cell group. I just so look forward to hanging out with them and also checking out the other younger ladies (GW, Rachel, C) with whom I served with in the youth ministry when we were younger-er. And also to spend time with Mom. I shall share about this camp when I get back. ;) I am soo excited.

Also, I need to find time to practise some of the songs for the competition coming up.. Its crazy to think I have gone this far. But, just like the same thought I had which JY also happened to mention to me when I am in doubt - quoting Esther from the Bible: I will never know where this may lead me. Esther's story had inspired me alot, especially working in the marketplace. She was going for a beauty pageant (so secular) and then became the king's concubine (even more secular). However, 'for such a time as that', she saved her own people. I believe she had never thought her story would be recorded in the best selling book today. In many ways, we can be like her. I shall go for it, hope to get through a few rounds and improve on my skills. And not forgetting that I will not get anywhere without my Mordecais.

Over Time

'Spicy seafood' tastes better than 'mushroom chicken'.

Back to office today to quicken the completion of a cafe conceptual design. It is exciting, but yet a little scary. Since early April, I had been doing mostly back support tasks. A little nervous, but glad, I need to get this is one task done well, especially that I will have to critique my own work now.

Step by Step

Patience... and more patience.. I always think that we are kind of waiting for something to happen all the time. I still think so. It is part of a process. Flowers need time to bloom. O.. How I wish I would be able to appreciate the beauty of it, and I mean, NOW! :)

The Narrow Path

Life have been going on more or less the same as it had always been for me before May 2006. It had been months of tough times.. And I mean, really tough. Only those in close contact knew, and I really thank you for walking with me (If you know who I am refering to, and you are reading this: Thank you from the bottom of my heart!). But most of all, it had always been Him, showing me how to live. Taste, and know that the Lord is good, always!

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28
Click here to read Romans 8:28-39

Stretched and stronger, I now pick up where I had left and tread slowly.. Walk alongside with me, if you would. For now I seek true company, to walk the narrow path which I may not deviate from, ever again.

Mirages

Mirages are not real. What seems beautiful and mysterious from afar turns out different once you see it closer.

What's real, comes with a price. A love sacrificed, a difficulty overcame, a painful experience - finished and not ran from, tears fallen and the ugly exposed. Open, is different from open-mindedness.

What's behind the success of those that seemed to be, could only be known by those who had been up close and immediate. Nobody's prefect. Rumors we had heard and perhaps passed are nothing unusual. A murderer or a liar, or just a thought that spells evil - makes a sin. Only by grace can we enter.

Never stop loving because that's the only way out of the circumstances unexpected. Love, if there's fear. Love especially those most difficult to love, and not just those who love in return. Never give up.

Getting Directions

I remember with details of one assignment given to me and my groupmates as part of our design programme in interior design. It set us on a fresh approach to 'find our way' to our actual project site through asking for directions even though we already knew where it is.

We set about our journey at different day and time, within the proximity where it was situated. As best as I could, I tried not to think about the way I knew how to get to my destination and started asking for directions. Initially there were a few people whom I had approached, gave leads to my hunting. And, there were a couple of them who gave wrong directions! Of course the rule of the game was to follow the leads. Thinking that it could be the description that I had tried to give that were misleading them, I attempted to make myself clearer. Where was it near to, what the place used to be used for, etc. Nevertheless, the people who 'helped' still confidently pointed me further from where I needed to get to. Somehow, what could have been a walk of 20 minutes, turned out to be a couple of hours of 'chasing wild geese'.

The last person that finally brought me to my destination left the deepest impression on me, even till now. He was a trishaw guy waiting for some tourist to board his vehicle. I had introduced myself to be a student trying to find this place for my school assignment.. blah blah blah.. Without much hesitation he offered me a ride, F.O.C. (free of charge)! As quickly as the offer came, I agreed without much thought given. At normal rate, a tourist had to pay around S$50. Sometimes when I think back and realise that it could have been dangerous to hitch ride like that, but thank God, I believe there was just this peaceful trust I had in this kind old man who happened to be just waiting for the unseeming patron. Or rather, I was just too glad that I had a chance ride on a trishaw! For free and to give my feet a much needed break. 'It must be from God', I must have thought to myself.

It was almost evening and the sky had darkened. The ride took us through some very interesting places; some historical, some ethnical and some illegal. Much of which I had never seen. Apart from soaking in this amazing ride, we chatted and I gave description to the site. As it seemed to be all planned, the route of the trishaw ride fell perfectly where my destination was. We were right beside it and the journey ended. We bid goodbyes and I was so filled with gratefulness. He could never get to know that I would have get there on my own. Honestly, it did feel like deception. But I do not think I will ever do that again. God forgiven me.

This act not only gave direction to my design project. It also gave me the furtherance of the meaning I tried to seek in living each day, that focuses on a journey, not the destination. So here I am, putting thoughts into these words. What seemed to be a wrong direction and 'goose-chase' had turned out to be the directions which lead to the interesting and unexpected discovery of a divine adventure.

Whenever I pass by this same spot where I had first met him, I would look out for that familar face. However, that was the only time I met him.

His Word

TO ME, there's really nothing special about the 3rd of May. However, I want to start writing so that people can know the person I am.

I want to dedicate the first space to the marvellous words found in the Bible, in Isaiah. For His thoughts are higher than mine.

Invitation to the Thirsty
1 "Come, all you who are thirsty,
come to the waters;
and you who have no money,
come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk
without money and without cost.
2 Why spend money on what is not bread,
and your labor on what does not satisfy?
Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good,
and your soul will delight in the richest of fare.
3 Give ear and come to me;
hear me, that your soul may live.
I will make an everlasting covenant with you,
my faithful love promised to David.
4 See, I have made him a witness to the peoples,
a leader and commander of the peoples.
5 Surely you will summon nations you know not,
and nations that do not know you will hasten to you,
because of the LORD your God,
the Holy One of Israel,
for he has endowed you with splendor."
6 Seek the LORD while he may be found;
call on him while he is near.
7 Let the wicked forsake his way
and the evil man his thoughts.
Let him turn to the LORD, and he will have mercy on him,
and to our God, for he will freely pardon.
8 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,"
declares the LORD.
9 "As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
10 As the rain and the snow
come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
11 so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.
12 You will go out in joy
and be led forth in peace;
the mountains and hills
will burst into song before you,
and all the trees of the field
will clap their hands.
13 Instead of the thornbush will grow the pine tree,
and instead of briers the myrtle will grow.
This will be for the LORD's renown,
for an everlasting sign,
which will not be destroyed." ISAIAH 55
New International Version (NIV) Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society