Overdued

The past two weeks had been really good. Enjoying myself so much that I procrastinate the less enjoyable (still enjoyable) - to find words to describe. I am really not a good writer, but I love to share. ;) And so I shall blog..

This noon I have sent out the details for the missons office to Ps. M. 5 hours this morning to work with and I think I am satisfied with the first draft design. I believe it is sufficient for the contractor to understand. Why am I not in church on Sunday morning? Eh.. Yes, I should be in church this morning but I choose service otherwise.. Hee.. Moreover, I was feeling unwell so it was good that I have the bed once I completed the work. I was bounded to bed till around 6pm today, missed the regular badminton sessions every Sundays with the regular group. Felt relaxed and lazy and so went for a haircut. Its really short now. :D Since a long time I cut it so short as I always looked kiddish.. but I am not so bothered already. Just cut. Brother said I looked nerdy.. whatever lah. 8)

Today I started flipping the pages of 'Wild At Heart' by John Eldredge and it drew me to read more.

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Renewal Camp 2007 @ Hyatt Regency, JB

03.06.07Sun Bilingual Service was over at around 12:40pm and I met Ps. M at the church office to take a look at the mission office to see how to make the space more conducive for working. It was a good start as I got to know her better before we got on the camp. The advance party consisted of 33 of us, mainly young adults, who departed for JB at around 2pm.
We arrived at Hyatt Regency at around 3:10pm. It was simply beautiful, grand and just neat. Just after we settled our bags in our rooms, all of us went to City Square for shopping before heading to Taman Sentosa for seafood. Shaun F., Alex, YP and myself shared cab. The 4 of us never really know how the taxi fare worked in JB and made bad acquaintance with one cab driver. Well, that was a good lesson and we all learnt to always confirm the fare before getting onto any JB cab. Seafood dinner was good.. We (Ps. M, Sam, YW, YP, C and R) had stingray, chilli crab, ma po tou fu and I like especially the herbal chicken wrapped with earth. Sugarcane juice which came a size larger than what we have in Singapore. After the satisfying meal, we returned to the hotel for a session of worship and sharing. That stretched from 9-10:45pm as YYH, Ps. M and AY shared on the purpose of the young adult ministry. My heart was much stirred again when Ps. M touched on missions.

04.06.07Mon The official first day of camp started. The administration's done and everyone seemed really to encounter God and a refresh of our souls. The English speaker, Richard Williams, was the main highlight of the retreat. He spoke of how to restore our cutting edge. He was really entertaining, but that is not all, he has something we all wanted. Anointing.

The evening session held something unexpected. I received a word.

RW: "I saw a picture. Very interesting. A person is laying in bed. God is saying to this person, 'You used to talk to Me about everything. But something is lost. Something got complicated. And I am always waiting for you.'"

Immediately I broke down and dropped the mask I tried to wear so that people will not be overly concerned that I cannot handle. I had tried to be tough. And that was not too tough. All I needed to do was to ignore the emotions. I do not recommend this method as it really do not work. It will only choke up your waste pipe. That picture came so familiar. It brought back memories of the time where I spend time with the Lord - on my bed. Playing guitar, kneeing or laying down praying, with my head on my tear-patched pillow. Bedtime chatting with A led us to finding common hearts.

05.06.07Tue After the first night, the rest of sessions were highlighted with powerful messages that just motivate and send. For the young adults like me, YYH collated some video and materials related to the book we are so familiar with, 'Men from Mars, Women from Venus' by John Gray. I had read halfway through this book and passed it to E. I have also gone on to some other books relating to the opposite gender. 'Bringing Up Boys' by James Dobson was solid information and reliable study. 40% through. I guess being a woman who had somehow a poor idea of a man's character, I struggled along my brother's growth as a boy, now a teenager. The absence of a father can be destructive. I failed at times when my words do not encourage but spoke negatively. These books helped a lot and I recommend them for women who do not have their own children. It is never too early.

To learn swimming again was not intended for this camp. Nevertheless it was one achievement to I picked up where I left when I gave up on swimming, with much encouragement from Constance and Vivien, who are really great teachers. Then soaking in the warm 'boiling' jacuzzi was absolutely luxurious. Come to dinnertime, it was set aside just for Mom. It was the company, not the food that count. :)

06.06.07Wed The last night's session, the church leaders prayed for almost everyone. Ps. M came and prayed for me at the front while I was doing vocal back-up. It was confirmation and invitation. Sidetrack: Sis, God heard you. He spoke, not once but twice.
It was past midnight when I visited the young ladies and played some games. It was a pity that I had so little time with them but they seemed to enjoyed each other's company so far, so I was glad. :D

Overall, it was one camp I would not forget. I believe many, if not all of us, were refreshed.
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12th June, I got through the first round of BAS half-hearted as I almost wanted to give up. Thankful, I had another chance to give my shot. Now, what song to sing? What song with a message?

Mayed

MAY had been a lot of evaluation and thinking done. I love life not for its hipe but for its up-and-downs. Just like a roller coaster ride, filled with mixed emotions which made it confusing sometimes, but memorable. Without the 'downs', I will not know how high I had actually been. It can be frustratingly amazing.

3 days, and the design I was talking about had been submitted. I think it was okay but until the client get back to us.. I shall keep my fingers crossed for now and hope for the best. Shall put it on blog later on. :]

There is this new anticipation I have for this year's church camp which will be from 4th till 7th June, next week actually. I am excited to be bunking with Amy, a sister whom I served with in the English service but have yet to know very well. There is something I respect and admire about her - her using her talent to serve God, with much faithfulness and joy. And also two other Chinese ladies I enjoyed, YP and YD, from my cell group. I just so look forward to hanging out with them and also checking out the other younger ladies (GW, Rachel, C) with whom I served with in the youth ministry when we were younger-er. And also to spend time with Mom. I shall share about this camp when I get back. ;) I am soo excited.

Also, I need to find time to practise some of the songs for the competition coming up.. Its crazy to think I have gone this far. But, just like the same thought I had which JY also happened to mention to me when I am in doubt - quoting Esther from the Bible: I will never know where this may lead me. Esther's story had inspired me alot, especially working in the marketplace. She was going for a beauty pageant (so secular) and then became the king's concubine (even more secular). However, 'for such a time as that', she saved her own people. I believe she had never thought her story would be recorded in the best selling book today. In many ways, we can be like her. I shall go for it, hope to get through a few rounds and improve on my skills. And not forgetting that I will not get anywhere without my Mordecais.

Over Time

'Spicy seafood' tastes better than 'mushroom chicken'.

Back to office today to quicken the completion of a cafe conceptual design. It is exciting, but yet a little scary. Since early April, I had been doing mostly back support tasks. A little nervous, but glad, I need to get this is one task done well, especially that I will have to critique my own work now.

Getting Directions

I remember with details of one assignment given to me and my groupmates as part of our design programme in interior design. It set us on a fresh approach to 'find our way' to our actual project site through asking for directions even though we already knew where it is.

We set about our journey at different day and time, within the proximity where it was situated. As best as I could, I tried not to think about the way I knew how to get to my destination and started asking for directions. Initially there were a few people whom I had approached, gave leads to my hunting. And, there were a couple of them who gave wrong directions! Of course the rule of the game was to follow the leads. Thinking that it could be the description that I had tried to give that were misleading them, I attempted to make myself clearer. Where was it near to, what the place used to be used for, etc. Nevertheless, the people who 'helped' still confidently pointed me further from where I needed to get to. Somehow, what could have been a walk of 20 minutes, turned out to be a couple of hours of 'chasing wild geese'.

The last person that finally brought me to my destination left the deepest impression on me, even till now. He was a trishaw guy waiting for some tourist to board his vehicle. I had introduced myself to be a student trying to find this place for my school assignment.. blah blah blah.. Without much hesitation he offered me a ride, F.O.C. (free of charge)! As quickly as the offer came, I agreed without much thought given. At normal rate, a tourist had to pay around S$50. Sometimes when I think back and realise that it could have been dangerous to hitch ride like that, but thank God, I believe there was just this peaceful trust I had in this kind old man who happened to be just waiting for the unseeming patron. Or rather, I was just too glad that I had a chance ride on a trishaw! For free and to give my feet a much needed break. 'It must be from God', I must have thought to myself.

It was almost evening and the sky had darkened. The ride took us through some very interesting places; some historical, some ethnical and some illegal. Much of which I had never seen. Apart from soaking in this amazing ride, we chatted and I gave description to the site. As it seemed to be all planned, the route of the trishaw ride fell perfectly where my destination was. We were right beside it and the journey ended. We bid goodbyes and I was so filled with gratefulness. He could never get to know that I would have get there on my own. Honestly, it did feel like deception. But I do not think I will ever do that again. God forgiven me.

This act not only gave direction to my design project. It also gave me the furtherance of the meaning I tried to seek in living each day, that focuses on a journey, not the destination. So here I am, putting thoughts into these words. What seemed to be a wrong direction and 'goose-chase' had turned out to be the directions which lead to the interesting and unexpected discovery of a divine adventure.

Whenever I pass by this same spot where I had first met him, I would look out for that familar face. However, that was the only time I met him.