Less of Fear, More of Love

It has been strange lately, how my heart settles more, when I chose independence, and to trust God to lead me in the path I see ahead of me. I must lean not on my understanding, and in all my ways acknowledge him (Prov 3). It is spiritual: seeing the difference in how I live or behave under different authorities. And it is the same as what I see in the children. And the partners I work with, bring about different behaviours in the classroom.

It gave me much confidence to be able to face the fears I used to have. Uncertainty is one. I will face it, as it comes. Perhaps even Certainty. When I am so certain, let what I have always believed to be challenged.

A New Milestone

Turning 35 gave me the opportunity to own a housing unit in Singapore finally! There are many factors which I have considered carefully, and prayerfully. I was uncertain if this decision is right. And the moment I made the decision, I had peace. I felt God trust me to be an adult and be able to make good decisions, whatever lies ahead.

Of course, I have concerns: Will Mum and brother be okay when I am not around? Will I find time to spend with Mum? Will our relationship become better? Will my relationship with my family become distanced? Will I be too accustomed to being alone? What if I forget my keys? What if I am too sick to even pick up the phone to call for help? I guess if I am to look at the fear in my heart, I will never be able to move on and up. I believe I can do this one step at a time, with the Lord, no matter if I have decided otherwise.

What happens in the future I do not know. Even if my life ends tonight, I know God is in control.